My husband and I were content and acceptant that we were not having children. However, we were open to a family and had explored several options. None of the options felt right for us until a special little boy walked into our lives. We suddenly became parents to a one-year-old boy who was living with his Grandmother. Her health was not enabling her to remain his caregiver. The birthparents chose to pick the home where their little one was to be placed instead of having him placed in a foster home.
Three weeks after offering him our home, he came through our front door with signed adoption paper work. Wow! What a life changer for all of us. For three days, this little guy was disappointed, his new mommy answered his morning cries to get out of bed instead of his Granny. I just held him and told him what was happening and that everything was going to be all right. Quickly, God gave him a strong love bond to his new family.
Though this experience, I have learned several things and I will share a few. First, I learned that God provides the love bond. I deeply love the stranger who, I now call, “my son.” One of the first things that went through my mind as a mother was a question. Could my love for this little guy be strong? I prayed and prayed that our love-bond would grow strong. Six months later, I found that we were bonded by love for a lifetime. One night he had a seizure from a high fever. I carried him around the house and my husband called the ambulance. When he quit seizing, he wasn’t breathing. As I tried to arouse him and waited to determine if he needed CPR, great fear overwhelmed me. Prayers shot to heaven, “Please Lord, don’t let me lose him, I just got him.” I realized that he had become part of my heart. Fortunately, he did arouse and began to breathe without CPR. Through a horrible trip to the emergency room, I realized God had answered my prayer to love this little guy and bond.
Secondly, I learned not to fear the future but to trust in the power of prayer. Prayers for my son flow easy. As I hold him to drink his morning milk, prayers for wisdom pour out of my soul. I had fears for his future as a result of his broken birth family and the instability that went into his first year. I have learned to pray for him during the quiet times that we have together. For example, he likes to watch the garage door come down when we come home, so as he watches, I pray. My prayer has evolved to this: Lord please help me to be the mommy this little boy needs. Help his daddy to be the man he needs. Please protect him from evil and harm. Finally, help him to make wise decisions. For I have realized that my husband and I will do our best for him but ultimately he has to choose his life path and a relationship with God.
Next, the love of God should flow from me to him. It is ok not to know it all or have the right answers. I will not be perfect; I just have to be trying and there will be multiple chances to get it right. A love and trust bond should always connect from my heart to his. He should feel my love even when he is disciplined. For example, I let him know why he cannot do something with short explanations. Here is a sample of what I sometimes say, “no, no it will hurt you and mommy loves you and I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Someone told me that parents say “no” to their children more than yes. My desire is for my son to have the feeling that he can achieve. One day he’ll learn the verses about being more than conquers and doing all things through Christ who gives us strength. So, to help him with this biblical principle, I say, “you can” more than “no, no.” It seems a little strange at first but, when put into practice, it eventually flows. For example, “you can walk without holding my hand down this hall.” “You can put the bubble bath in the water.” “You can have some more milk.” “You can help me with the laundry.” My goal is to love him in a way that will give him the tools to be all God wants him to be.
Finally, it is our responsibility to tell him about God along with the church. His dad leads him in prayer routinely and encourages him to pray. He leads us to church and encourages our involvement. Nightly reading time is a routine at our house. The concepts of the Bible are what I like to stress as I read Bible stories and even Dr. Seuss books. Here are some examples of the concepts. First, the concept “God made him special” comes from “I Wish that I had Duck Feet” by Dr. Seuss. Secondly, I stress that “God has great things in store for his future” through his adoption. We read the Alice in Bibleland series story of Moses. He was adopted and called to do great things. Thirdly, we talk about “God loving us very much” when we read about Gideon in the Vegetales series.
Our adoption experience was truly the hand of God orchestrating our family’s composition. Emotions swell up inside of me when I think about being chosen to guide a little boy through his life. God is the giver of all children and they are a blessing. Thank you Lord for the opportunity to love a little life and for the lessons that I’ve learned.

Darla Banks-Garrett lives with her family in Fort Worth, Texas. She works as a Nursing Administrator. Before becoming a mother herself, she served children for many years in children’s ministry.  She also had the misfortune of having to grow up as Lash’s big sister.